The Greatest Invention Since Sliced Bread
After centuries of waiting some one has finally solved the problem that has plagued man since we first craved for the combination of fruit and cereal. Ladies and gentlemen I proudly present to you the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer.
Now we can finally separate our bananas into delicious sections as we never could before.
And the lucky people who already own this incredible item are letting us know what we are missing as seen in the reviews on amazon.com
Here’s a couple of my favorites:
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I’ll call it South Side Story.
Banana slicer…thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.
What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone…. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices. It’s one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old “I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?” and of course, “You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!” These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That’s when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!
A very terrific outcome By Haldane E. King “skyking”
I am a urologist, self trained. I bridle under the yoke of formal instruction and have successfully taught myself to fly, write and do a little brain surgery. Anyway, when I saw the 571, its utility for my line of work was obvious. We ran ads offering curtailment for men with overgrown bananas and a special service for circumcision that quickly morphed into a “brisk bris” business. You have to hold it just right, a bit of trial and error is likely, but I guarantee swift, smooth slices producing small rounds that resemble raw calamari..
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